Dumb Blonde Joke of the day #5

Heart Attack

A blonde  gets home early from work and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. He rushes upstairs to find her husband naked on the bed,sweating and panting. "What's up?" she says. "I'm having a heart attack," cries the man. 

SHe rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as he's dialing, her 4-year-old son comes up and says,"Mommy! Mommy!  Aunt Gabby is hiding in your closet and he's got no clothes on!" 

The girl slams the phone down and storms upstairs into the bedroom, past her screaming husband, and rips open the wardrobe door. 

Sure enough, there is her sister, totally naked, cowering on the closet floor. 

You b*tch, "says the wife,"my husband is having a heart attack and you're running around naked scaring the kids!!!






                                                          No offense to blondes intended, this is just a joke.
                                                          Check our blog daily for a Dumb blonde joke!!

Blonde joke of the day #4

Two blondes were recently observed in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their Mercedes with a coat hanger. Here is their dialogue:

Blonde One: I can't seem to get this door unlocked!

Blonde Two: Well, you'd better hurry up and try harder! it's starting to rain, and the top is down!





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Blonde joke of the day #3

Blonde at Football Game

A guy decides to bring his new blonde girlfriend to a football game. After the game is over, he asks her if she liked the game. 

She replies: "Oh it was great, I loved watching those men in tight clothes, but there is one thing I don't understand." 

"What did you not understand ?" 

And the blonde says: "Well, at the begginning of the game, both teams flipped a quarter to see who would kick off first. Then the rest of the game everybody was yelling get the quarter back, get the quarter back, get the quarter back. So I thought to myself, gosh it's just a quarter!" 

Dumb blonde joke of the day #2

A blonde and a redhead went to the bar after work for a drink, and sat on stools watching the 6 O'clock news. A man was shown threatening to jump from the Brooklyn Bridge, and the blonde bet the redhead $50 that he wouldn't jump.

Sure enough, he jumped, so the blonde gave the redhead $50. The redhead said,

"I can't take this, you're my friend."

But the blonde insisted saying,

"No. A bet's a bet."

Then the redhead said

"Listen, I have to tell you that I saw this on the 5 O'clock news, so I can't take your money."

The blonde replied

"Well, so did I, but I didn't think he would jump again!"

Blonde joke of the day #1

Blonde Cop

This blonde cop stops a blonde driver and asks for identification.

The blonde driver looks all around in her purse and can’t find her license. “I must have left it at home, officer.”

“Well, do you have any kind of identification on you?” asks the cop.

The blonde takes out a pocket mirror and says, “I do have this picture of me.”

“Let me see it,” says the cop. She holds up the mirror and looks in it. Then she says, “Sorry. If I had known you were a police officer, I wouldn’t have stopped you.”

Dumb blonde jokes

No offense intended

1. A person went into the office kitchen one morning and found a new blonde girl painting the walls. She was wearing a new fur coat and a nice denim jacket.

Thinking this was a little strange, he asked her why she was wearing them rather than old clothes or an overall.

She showed him the instructions on the tin,

"For best results, put on two coats".

2.  A blonde asked someone what time it was, and they told her it was 4:45. The blonde, with a puzzled look on her face replied,

"You know, it's the weirdest thing, I have been asking that question all day, and each time I get a different answer."

3. Question: If a blonde and a brunette fell off a building, who would hit the ground first?
Answer: The brunette - the blonde would have to stop for directions!

4. The assistant asked the blonde if she would like her pizza cut into six pieces or twelve.

"Six please" she said, "I could never eat twelve!"

taken from http://blonde-jokes.co.uk