Stoner jokes

Question: What is the difference between politicians and stoners ?
Answer: Politicians don’t inhale…they just suck.

Question: What is the difference between a drunk and a stoner ?
Answer: The drunk will drive through a stop sign while the stoner will wait for it to turn green

A stoner finds a poor person on the street and helps him up. The poor person says, "Son, I'm a genie. And since you helped me I'll give you three wishes." The stoner says, "I want a six-inch joint!" The genie says, "Okay!" POOF! They stuff a six-inch joint and smoke it between the two of them. "What's the second wish? asks the genie. "I want a twelve-inch joint," says the stoner. "Okay," says the genie. POOF! And they stuff it and smoke it between the two of them. "And the third wish?" "I want a twenty-inch joint!!" POOOF!! So, they stuff it and smoke it between the two of them. Finally, the genie gets up and says, "Okay, it's time for me to go." The genie takes a couple of steps, pauses, turns around and says, "Okay, just one more wish."


A stoner walks into an appliance store and asks the owner, "How much for that TV set in the window?" 
The owner looks at the TV set, then looks at the stoner, and says, "I don't sell stuff to potheads." So the stoner tells the owner that he'll quit toking and will come back the next week to buy the TV. A week later, the stoner comes back and says, "I quit smoking pot. Now, how much for that TV set in the window?" 
And the owner says, "I told you I don't sell to potheads!" So the stoner leaves again. 
He comes back a week later and says, "How much for that TV?" 
The owner says, "I'm not going to tell you again, I don't sell to potheads!!!" 
The stoner looks back at the owner and says, "How can you tell I'm a pothead?" 
The owner looks back and says, "Because that's a microwave." 




Do you think scooby-doo and shaggy were stoners?
Come on just look at them!!



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